And if you're celebrating Christmas I hope you get turkey stuffed with leek and shallot and basted in soy sauce, served with rich red cabbage and peas. For pudding may you have Christmas pud made from chopped Golden Delicious and peeled pear. Failing that, may someone who loves you rustle up a trifle made from chocolate log roll, custard and whisky whipped into a rich, pure cream. All this followed by a platter of Brie, Camembert and other cheeses untainted by herbs or fruit. And may your Christmas presents, if you are of age, include the best whisky, including a savoury Jura or Jack Daniels to enrich your lunch. If you are under age, I wish you a great many chocolate bars, none of them with nuts or fruit and not so dark chocolate you feel the caffeine content. Happy Christmas!